"Confrontation"

It is 1:00am and I'm doing homework. Well, obviously not because I am writing this blog post. I just wanted to share this amazing song from the musical version of "The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde." The song is called "Confrontation," and it is simply amazing. The alternating voices/personas make the song so much powerful. It is really a masterpiece. The lyrics and the entire story is a very relate-able one surprisingly. I read the book for my AP Lit. course and it is a reflection of true human life. We struggle with our true nature and the person we want to be or prefer to be. Hidden motives, drug addiction, closet homosexuality, it can all be found in Robert Louis Stevenson's book "The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Believe me. I read it. haha

Back to the subject though; the song is great! Give it a listen. ;)

I'm alive (barely)

Blog posting is too hard. That's why I wait 3 months before I write another post. That or I'm just really lazy and have nothing to say. Well, I actually have a lot to say. Most of it consists of whining and bitching about being a teenager though. haha Anyways, the school year will end soon and I'll be a high school senior soon enough. Um, yeah I just wanted to keep my blog semi-alive. That is all.

2 Dogs Dining

Wow, 3 blog posts in one night/day/awkward time when technically it is morning, but you haven't slept yet. This is important though. I need to share this wonderful video of 2 dogs...dining...in sweaters....like bosses. So much epic is in this video below. Watch the whole thing. Do it. Yes, I realize that the only reason why this is entertainnig to me right now might be because I haven't gone to bed yet and I'm tired but....I don't care. It's two dogs dining in sweaters. BEST. THING. EVER.

That is all.
Enjoy

Lullaby by Chuck Palahniuk
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I just finished reading "Lullaby" by Chuck Palahnuik.

This book is probably my second favorite by Chuck Palahnuik (next to Fight Club). There are interesting plot twists and points that still make it a bit thrilling to read. The idea of words being a form of destruction in the modern world is a very real thing. Palahnuik thoroughly shows this in the book. The characters are memorable and familiar. All in all it is another book by Chuck Palahnuik that I had a great time reading.

I might go into a more in-depth review and discussion in a later blog post, but for now I just want to say that this book is great. (The original text of my review were first posted on goodreads.com)

View all my reviews

The Clock Stopped? (A Poem)

So perhaps I am taking a new approach to my blog. Basically I'll be posting some poetry and stuff that I write as well as my other, typical posts.

This is a poem I wrote. It might not be amazing, but this is poetry from the mind of an angsty, insomniac teenager. What do you expect?


Time doesn't move anymore,
Time moves too quickly,
No- too slowly,
The clock lies.

Tick, tick, tick,
Tick- tick.

Is life ticking away?
My life a second shorter?
One added on to another...
How can that be?
The clock stopped.

Originally posted here:
http://www.goodreads.com/AmiraLL

A Year Of Empty Discovery

2013 and I haven't even made a blog post. It's already Febuary as well. Damn...

Anyways, on to the topic of discussion. Everyone always rejoices in the new year. They see it as a time to start over, a time to gain it all, a time to embark on a new journey. This year...feels like none of that to me. It might be because I'm a overly angsty teenager (which is the reason my friend gives me for everything I do or say) or because I feel a little trapped and stressed out. Finding motivation to do a lot of things is just slipping away. Technically, 2013 will be my last full year living with my family. Next year, I'll be graduating high school and moving on with life. A new door opening? Or a black hole opening. We'll see. All I know is..this whole life is not making any sense most of the time. I don't make sense to myself most of the time either....but on the upside, I started reading again.

We can thank J.R.R. Tolkien and Chuck Palahnuik for that.

Still, life is getting more and more empty. Being my age and in the situation I'm in, I'm expected to be noting more than a test score. That's what it feels like at least....Almost every class I take is training me for some sort of test. Of course I have SATs coming up and AP exams as well....so yeah I do kinda need to focus on tests, but I don't want to just be a test score. People train to take tests, they don't follow what they love...st least that is what it seems. Even when I perform musically...all I feel is that I'm a product. They market me off in a pretty package and never want me to find myself. I don't want to just grow up, learn, work and die. I'm not even the true me, I'm everything I've been trained to be. What's the point of it all anyways? It reminds me of the end of the movie American Psycho...

"There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there."

I feel like I myself am an illusion...and I'm simply not here. Ahh, but oh well....a year of self discovery this may be for me. We'll see....

It never fails...

to amaze me at how immature some can be. I know they are young, but so am I. I'm only 17, I know I don't have many years behind me, but still I think that I've maybe...either have learned or have realized a lot more that the average person from my generation and the generations that came after mine (That is what I think, but you know....still I'm only a teenager. There's a lot I don't know and I realize that.) The person posting in the photo is I believe maybe 2-3 years younger than me. I know for sure she is younger than me...but from what I've observed she one of those people who try to act a lot older than they are. Which is fine. I have no problem with it. People choose their own lifestyles. Besides, I don't really know what "acting someone's age" means anymore. I mean, the meaning and the idea of how a person should act at a certain age changes all the time. The whole idea of it can also be seen as a matter of perspective as well (as most things in the world can). I mean some might say I act younger than my age or that I have not developed normally, but as I've said; perspective is the key. One could be seen as perfectly normal where as someone like me might seem a bit odd. All that aside I would like to get to the picture above.

As you can see from the text, this person has taken a harsh approach to "expressing" her thoughts and feelings. Nothing wrong with being harsh at times, but that is the point. At certain times it is okay to be harsh. In my opinion, this was not one of those times. This post is somewhat..childish in a way? I mean seriously "GO KILL YOURSELF?" That is....a bit cruel sounding. These are the people who freak out when a sever case of bullying hits the media, yet they post things that say those words? I know they aren't entirely serious, but still I feel that saying that in a way is immature. Now I'm not saying I haven't done the same thing before. I never said I was not a hypocrite, but as I've gotten a bit older I've learned to realize that saying things like that...it's not cool. It is a bit harsh and cruel. Saying things like that...even in a non-serious way is insensitive to a human life. "Go kill yourself," really? You really want someone to take their own life? I don't know, i guess because I'm not as popular as that girl I think about my words after I say them more often. She will have people support her words whereas I would be torn down. However, I feel the fact that I did get torn down when I said similar things helped me grow as a person. Just because one is popular doesn't mean they are always in the right. It is not always right to support them either. Anyways, I was just a bit disturbed by that post so I needed to vent a little. I won't go too much into detail in order to prevent an army from attacking if you know what I mean. haha